"Show me your tango face"

Last night, Jenn and I went to a tango show.

The evening started with a tango lesson.  Our instructor, Alejandro, gave wonderful advice like...

"ladies, when you are surprised, what do you do? You put your leg around the man,"
"if you get it, then you got it, if you don't get it, then you didn't get it," and
"you must point your toe, if you don't point your toe, I will kill you."

No big deal, but we are now certified beginner tango dancers, or at least that's what it says on our participation certificates.

Our lesson was followed by a 3 course meal and unlimited wine. And I mean unlimited wine.

The tango show was OMG sexy. An old man sang at Jenn about how she broke his heart and now he hates her. The dancing was amazing and they made it look so easy (like a guy casually lifting a girl over his head and she somehow made that look graceful).

Here are some pictures.

Wandering the streets

The last two days, we have taken to the streets of Buenos Aires, specifically San Telmo which is the neighborhood where we are pretending to live. We've been poking in and out of small stores with adorable clothing, and getting a little lost whole looking for a bank.

Yesterday we went to the museum of modern art and it was amazing. The first exhibit was filled with crazy psychedelic things, the second room we went to had lots and lots of creepy stuff that just got so much scarier the more you looked at it, and the main exhibit was a too white room filled with hanging paintings.

Taylor was pissed that she didn't get to come with, so today we brought her out and found her kin. After exchanging pleasantries, she turned to us and said, "I f-ing hate these guys, why did you bring me here?"

Turns out Taylor is never pleased.

Wine vs. Gato: a trip to civility

Jenn and I decided to spend our evening pretending to be real people.

At 6 pm we arrived at a sketchy black door somewhere in Buenos Aires. The intercom asked our names, and we were escorted by a tall stranger up a flight of stairs to the cutest dining room ever.

5 glasses of wine later, accompanied by the most delicious tapas that ever walked the planet, we reflected that we managed to make it through an entire evening sitting at a table with real adults without making fools of ourselves.

Full, happy, and a little tipsy, we are currently celebrating out jaunt with reality by drinking boxed wine out of fancy glasses. For those of you who think the blog URL is just "where's the cat", you should know that gato is the "fanciest" Chilean wine that comes in a box.

Taylor def prefers gato.

"Who Cares?" with Taylor

Though this is my first formal piece for the newest, shall we call it, quaint travel blog hitting the web, the questionable adventures of jean and jenn, many of you may know me as the "hot one" in nearly every photo on the blog. Recently I had the opportunity to sit down with the blog's creators and try to figure out why the hell they think anyone cares about their travels, their thoughts or their very existence. 

Taylor: tell me the inspiration behind this blog

Jeannie: so it all started when we left our fancy hotel and went to sleep in the airport. We'd awoken that morning to the jarring realization that we're poor so instead of shelling out for a real bed like fools, we decided the benches at a cafe in the airport would suffice. 

Jenn: as it turns out the waitress at said cafe disagreed. She violently shook us on multiple cc assigns noting our sleepy state and lack of shoes but never kicking us out. She repeatedly reminded us that "this is a restaurant" as though we'd forgotten. Finally we did what all the greats do we slept on the floor of an airport post office. 

Taylor: ok, while this a gripping tale, it has nothing to so with my question. How, or really we're all wondering why, did this blog come to life?

Jeannie: oh right, so we woke up a few hours before our flight and made our way through security. I went through with no problems but things were a little more complicated for Jenn. 

Jenn: on a scale of one to awesome, it was not. While most people went to the desk, showed their documents and moved along I was stopped and told "you're a problem for Interpol" not "this is a problem for Interpol" but me personally. 

Taylor: look I know you really want to tell your airport story but I'm interviewing you about the blog's birth, can we stay in track ladies? Specifically Jeannie can you please help me get Jenn on track. 

Jeannie: speaking of getting Jenn on track I was waiting on the other side of immigration as I watched two large men escort Jenn from Interpol to a back office. She made a face at me that said "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...."

Taylor: Jenn can we get Jeannie on track?

Jenn: speaking of tracks, immigration officials were really going off the rails trying to simultaneously deport and hold me. And I don't mean cuddling. I was told that I could pay to go through, just a cool $800. So I finally broke down and sent Jeannie running toward the ATM to pull out money. 

Jeannie: between two ATMs I got $400, 400 soles and winded. Unfortunately none of this was enough. 

Jenn: I handed the money to the woman and she looked at me and simply said "falta"

Taylor: we're seriously falta on you answering the right question. Come on I'm begging y ---

Jenn: speaking of begging while Jeannie was running the ATM gauntlet, I was given the stellar advice to beg for the money from my "countrymen"

Taylor: wait, she told you beg? What the f---

Jeannie: Taylor please, can we get back to what's really important? I completed a marathon on my forth lap back to the terminal to try and change our flight

Jenn: meanwhile I'm being told that Jeannie can only leave the airport in a plane so I try to buy her a ticket from Lima to Lima but no dice. 

Jeannie: we eventually work things out with two different sets of documents saying that we are, in fact, allowed to leave the airport.

Taylor: where are the documents that allow me to leave this conversation?

Jeannie: Taylor...ok? ...just, c'mon. 

Jenn: fast forward a number of hours and we find ourselves back in the airport somewhere between security and immigration...again. A nice guy had helped us get plane tickets several hours early despite being on standby, and my passport had a freshly stamped visa. Apparently, though, it needed a different stamp.

Taylor: what's with Peru and stamps?

Jeannie: so this one we stick together but lose more and more hope with every passing second until we are sitting in a back hallway in immigration wallowing in a pit of self despair.

Jenn: while we are trying to figure out how to say "skrew it" and leave the airport, Jeannie made a face at an old man that even broke my heart.

Taylor: but you don't have a heart.

Jenn: exactly.

Jeannie: in a last ditch effort, we follow this old man to a desk where he passes is of to another old man and this younger dude who was super cool.

Jenn: then, suddenly, like a lady stallion of justice, comes our savior. She forcefully tells the other two, "these are volunteers, we have I let them pass no matter what. Just do it"

Jeannie: after a few breathtaking moments where the exit stamp almost touches the passport, Jenn finally is free. We go to our savior, and she says, "go girls,run!"

Taylor: omg did you guys, like, hug and kiss and cry???

Jeannie: you know, Taylor, you can really be a bitch sometimes. 

Jenn: kind of like Peruvian immigrations

Taylor: well, there you have it: the senseless ramblings of two people who probably belong in an insane asylum.

Jenn: but this really happened--

Taylor: sorry, Jenn. Go put your shoes on, you can't sleep here, this is a restaurant. Folks, if we have learned anything from this, it is that you probably shouldn't run through airport security and that making sad faces at old men can sometimes help.

Breakfast Buffet 2.0

Three plates of delicious sustenance later, I think my stomach is going to explode and I don't even care. 

Breakfast buffet

Yesterday breakfast consisted of a cup of coffee and one piece of bread.

We're moving up in the world.

Jenn gets a case of the feels

Riding the bus back to the hotel from fancy fondue dinner tonight, I found myself looking out the window, watching the pretty lights as we passed nighttime storefronts when my eyes were suddenly filled with tears. Admittedly it was terrible timing as our friend's boyfriend was getting off the bus and it seemed that I was pretty broken up about it. 

I moved across the aisle into the loving embrace of my friends and tries to explain, 

"I was just looking out the windows and thinking that its over. We're leaving peru."

"What made you think of that?" someone asked. 

"I saw La Lucha and thought of the sandwiches..."

My emotions don't come out a lot but when they do its probably about sandwiches. 

Jenn has thoughts about having feelings

First I think our story requires a little background. This blog is starting to feel like when you strike up a conversation with someone at a bar, have a few laughs and a good conversation and then realize an hour in that you don't know their name. 

Or whatever social people do. 

So since September 2012, Jeannie and I have worked as health volunteers in Peru for the US Peace Corps. She served a small town in the mountains while I worked in a larger community in the northern desert. It was super rewarding blah blah blah. 

Now we've decided we're over it and recently closed our service and started our glorious South American adventures. 

Now onto Jenn's thoughts about having feelings:

I wish I had feelings about the end of this magical era in my life but I feel absolutely nothing. I think it's probably because none of it seems real at this point. It feels like a vacation. 

But I'm not going back to my site or my host family or my students. And yet no matter how many times I tell myself that I don't believe it. I guess the feelings will come later, I'll keep you posted. 

Until then we're chillin in a fancy ass hotel with a view. 

This is why we can't go nice places

Good afternoon!

Jenn and I are moving up in the world. We have a nice hotel room for a night to celebrate the new R behind our names (even if we're not technically returned).

Taylor almost jumped out the window of our penthouse because someone left the window open.

So far, Jenn has gotten naked at least once.

Quote of the hour: "how many times do I need to take my pants off before someone notices me?" -Jenn

Jenn gets a tatt, Taylor doesn't approve

Hey everyone!

Jenn got part 2 of her peace corps tattoo today. My personal favorite moment is when she says to the tattoo artist, "yeah, it's just a line".

Our new travel companion, Taylor, is less than happy with her decision. Jenn responded by yelling, "you're not my mom", then running full sprint to the tattoo parlor. Fortunately, Taylor could not follow because she is a small Asian doll. Most people were just confused about a grown woman yelling at an inanimate object.

Quote of the Hour: 2:04 PM Oct. 24th, 2014

"When I smile too hard, my contacts pop out."  -Jenn

Jenn, your life is really hard.  I feel for you.

That Slippery Bastard

You guys, everyone calm down, we found Waldo on the bus in Lima. 

Next up, the search for Narnia. 

Morning Thoughts

From the Argentinian "visa" website:

"US, Canadian and Australian citizens must pay a reciprocity fee online in order to travel to Argentina (if the passport holder is an Argentine national, the reciprocity fee does not need to be paid). This is not a visa, since a visa is not required for business and tourist visitors from these countries. It is a fee based upon what Argentinian citizens pay for a visa to the United States, Canada or Australia."

This is like, "you won't let me into your club so I'm making my own club and NO BOYS ALLOWED (unless you pay me a bunch of money)."

The moral of the story is we have our "reciprocity fees" paid, hotel organized, flights ready, we just need to drop one last load of things at the office and we'll be ready to leave on Monday (even though Jenn thinks we're leaving on Sunday... this is why I'm in charge).

Today we're off to the training center to meet our replacements, despite the overwhelming urge to say "f*** it, you kids are on your own".  Although, those Huancavelica folk don't look all that happy...

Maybe they need a visit from us old and wise RPCVs to turn those frowns upside down...

In other news, I'm really good at photoshop.

Feelings

"I feel the air...yup, feelings!" -Jenn, 2 minutes after becoming an RPCV

Is this the new iPhone 6?

Jenn gets confused about technology. Going to the States is gonna be rough.

Jenn Has Thoughts about Jeannie's Emotions

I would just like to note that I have done a lot in the planning of this trip, it's obviously just much more behind-the-scenes. For example, this morning Jeannie asked me if she should book us a room in Buenos Aires and I said yes.

Collaboration.

I refuse to be characterized as the lazy one when I am obviously the cool, classy, sexy one. Duh.

Secondly, Adam was trying to get into Bolivia and he followed up the story of his visa misadventures by telling us of his severe brain injury. Reliable source? I don't know.

Back when we were happy together

Jeannie Has Emotions

As we sit here, on the verge of COS, I find myself with a lot of emotions.  Let me tell you about them.

1) Frustrated that Jenn has done NOTHING to plan this trip.

I'm going to be honest, that's really the only emotion I have right now.  I'll tell you some more in the coming days.

At this point, we've (I'VE) planned everything for our upcoming adventure.  Except the minor detail of a visa to get into Argentina.  Oops.  About a month ago, we ran into this random guy in Lima (let's call him Adam) who told us a horror story about not having a visa and getting thrown in Argentinean prison.  Adam was also not... shall we say... completely "with it".  But we've taken Adam's advice to heart and gotten all our ducks in a row (you know, mostly).

Quote of the hour: "You literally do everything for me.  I'm like a hospice patient." --Jenn Hanson